Just In Time For Christmas, TISM Releases The “C” Word Out Now!

The “C” Word, is available on streaming services, CD and 12” vinyl, today.

With caterwauling commentary and a cracking chorus, The “C” Word takes us up crap creek in the colloquial canoe.

TISM recently announced forthcoming live shows. Sign up here for earliest news on East Coast dates.

When asked for comment regarding the forthcoming release and live shows, TISM provided the following statement:


The recent controversy about the release of illegal migrants from detention has brought to light the shocking fact that every day all over the country criminals are being set free from jail merely because nit-picking legal experts say they have “served their time.”

The same amoral lawyers further justify this dangerous practice on the grounds that those released are “Australian citizens.”

Why, what arbitrary rule is this?! Should we be walking the streets with the worst-of-the-worst merely because they were accidently born in Australia, whilst those who came by boat are safely locked away? As many reasonable voices have pointed out, indefinite detention is a necessary part of the first duty of government – protecting the people. And if the people’s protection justifies the detention of unlawful non-citizens who have served their sentences in full, why should our safety be sacrificed to the rights of those so-called “citizens by birth”, especially when their only other dubious qualification for release is that they have been in jail?

The answer is obvious: this pathway to citizenship must be closed. Boatless illegal residency through heredity (B.I.R.T.H.) must be stopped. All people who have come to Australia by BIRTH must be declared illegal non-citizens until they prove themselves safe to live amongst we, the people.

We know the usual “civil-rights” groups will complain, but that’s exactly what we’re talking about! These are the people that entry by BIRTH lets in!

Entry by BIRTH has been happening for months – we expect it stretches right back to the election of the Labor government. Some have unfairly questioned why Peter Dutton has not in the past said anything about the reckless granting of liberty to this group. But Mr Dutton, as a former Queensland police officer, can’t be expected to know the law.

Amazingly, it is not only those who came by BIRTH who are being released from jails. The government has also set free those who came by boat, merely because the High Court, in a very close 7 – 0 decision, said they should! As conservatives we respect and revere the rule of law, right up to the point where we have to obey it. The Voice referendum showed how much we Australians truly treasure our constitutional norms, so it’s all the more powerful that we’re prepared to trash them so promptly now. As Dan Tehan has tirelessly pointed out, unlawful non-citizens are horrible because they’re unlawful, and the government is horrible for not detaining them unlawfully. I can’t see why that’s complicated.

Moreover, of course the fuck Mark Dreyfus needed to apologize to that journo from Sky News. What’s so fucking hard about that? He didn’t have to actually feel sorry – I know Susan Ley said he was shouting at the women of Australia, but what, you think we actually felt outraged? We just wanted him to perform the same grovelling moral kabuki you force us to go through when we spout platitudes about women’s empowerment, welcome to country, blah blah blah.

And let’s remember the facts here: a journo asks a disingenuous, provocative question suggesting Dreyfus is guilty because he did not break the law – and then, for no reason, he raises his voice! If that sort of behaviour’s not a sincerely good reason for some false fucking outrage, what is? He should set a better example: he’s the chief law officer of Australia, damn it. And the journo herself couldn’t be expected to understand that he might’ve been swayed by a just principle or honest moral purpose: she’s from the Murdoch press. That any offense given might have been accidental also isn’t good enough. After all, Sky News have never hurt anyone without meaning to.

All this conflict and debate would be over if Australia adopts TISM’s policy of stopping people becoming Australian by BIRTH. We know it sounds extreme, but we’re not monsters. We won’t hold people in jail forever! That’d be cruel and unnecessary. Our plan is merely to do the same as we do with people who come by boat: you’d only be in detention for as long as it’s politically expedient. I mean, after that, why would we give a fuck?

Finally, TISM want to publicly support Bruce Lehrmann. We know “Australia” was a bad movie, but we don’t think he should be on trial for it.

UPDATE: Having been contacted by Baz Luhrmann’s lawyers, we most sincerely apologize and assure him we have no idea how we confused someone like himself, so well known for his aggressive batting for South Australia, being part of the Australian team that won the 1999 cricket World Cup, and who later went on to be its coach, with a person who denies he ever—

UPDATE – URGENT APOLOGY: Darren Lehmann’s lawyers have been in touch, and – oh god, oh god, oh god – surely this isn’t our fault? I blame that political staffer who started it all, Britney Spears.

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